Sexual compulsivity is possibly more frequent among men but many women also face this difficulty.
A person's sexuality becomes compulsive when s/he feels urged to continually have sexual activites -- or a specific type of sexual activity -- in order to feel well. S/He is continually thinking about it, planning the next sexual activity and anticipating it. Because of this, the person has difficulties to concentrate on daily tasks and s/he finds little pleasure to accomplish them, even when s/he would have appreciated them if s/he had not been invaded by these obsessive sexual desires.
This brings the person to neglect the other aspects of his/her life. For one, s/he becomes less available -- mentally, emotionally and physically -- for his/her partner and for the children and these often feel neglected. Work productivity can also be affected since, in many case, the sexually compulsive person will use work hours to plan and/or realize those sexual activities (s/he can arrive late, leave in the middle of the day or leave earlier, "surf" or "chat" on the net, for ex.) Sometimes, the person will spend a lot of money to realize these compulsive activities, thus jeopardizing one's financial health. And finally, in some cases, the person can put oneself in danger to get Aids or another sexually transmitted disease by refusing to protect oneself appropriately; or else, the person will neglect to feed oneself adequately and to get enough sleep in order to get more time for the compulsion.
Sexual compulsions can be found in many different forms and, often, they manifest within a specific sexual fantasy. Here are some examples:
To make love with as many partners as possible and as often as possible;
To seduce and then, to desert the person;
To show one's sexual organs to another person who didn't expect this;
To observe people while they are getting undressed or making love, these people being unaware that they are being observed;
To spend tremendous amounts of time or money surfing and chatting on the net, looking for sexual gratifications on a domination, submission, pedophilic or other fantasy;
To "play Russian Roulette" by having non-protected vaginal or anal sex with as many strangers as possible.
What we have to remember about compulsion is that, is spite of all the investment that one puts into it, the person never gets the sexual relief that s/he is looking for. Sometimes, the compulsion will become dormant due to a specific event (for ex., falling in love, getting arrested by the police, etc...) but as long as a deep therapeutic work is not done, the compulsion will control the person's acting outs even when s/he would want to do otherwise. However, therapy can help the person to regain control of oneself, especially if it has as objectives to identify unconscious needs and anxieties linked to the person's compulsive fantasy. By identifying these, the person becomes more aware of what pushes him/her to compulsion and, thus, will be more able to consciously choose more appropriate ways to fulfill needs and to face anxieties.